Hope (noun) means ‘desire or expectation of a change,’ with its root word being the same as that of the word ‘curve.’ Its first usage can be traced back to the 12th century, and by the 14th century, it took the forms of ‘hopeful’ (adjective) and ‘hopefulness’ (adjective). The antonym of hope is despair. The story of Noah’s Ark is a tale of hope, and the ‘Dove’ in the story, carrying back a twig, came to be known as a symbol of hope. Hope, when accompanied by faith, has a spiritual basis. Hope involving positive thinking is scientific. The color ‘yellow’ is associated with hope, just as ‘blue’ is associated with faith, and ‘red’ with spirituality. In many countries, where a family member has gone to war, one can see yellow ribbons at their entrances, symbolizing hope for their safe return home.

Psychologically, hope is a positive anticipatory emotion experienced amidst negative or uncertain circumstances. It provides motivation to pursue outcomes that have not yet occurred. It is a state of mind that we decide to maintain or adopt, as we choose not to give up for fear of actual, psychological, or moral consequences that may occur if we do not hope (Dr. Patricia Bruininks, The Unique Psychology of Hope).

A child’s brain can be wired from a young age to develop hope as a response through repeated emotional lessons as learning experiences. However, these days, we see that children find it difficult to empathize, cooperate, negotiate, and be hopeful towards the future. This has a negative outcome on their academics and interpersonal relationships, leading to psychosocial and behavioral issues such as alienation, violence, and aggression (Goleman; 1995).

Children learn optimism or pessimism from their experiences of success and through their interaction with parents, teachers, and significant adults. An optimistic attitude is a great asset to a child as it teaches them to keep trying and not give up. Optimistic child believes in themselves and their ability to make a difference. Pessimists, on the other hand, often feel helpless and tend to focus on the worst side of a situation.

What Can Parents Do?

• Be a good role model. Parents model an optimistic or pessimistic attitude by the way they react to both adverse and positive experiences in their lives.
• Help your child experience success, no matter how small. When children attempt new experiences, they can draw on past experiences when they succeeded.
• Use optimistic language and an explanatory style when things don’t go as planned. Optimists explain adverse situations in the following way:
• Adverse events are temporary rather than permanent. For example, say, “It takes time to make new friends at a new school” instead of “No one likes me.”
• Situations or causes are specific, not global. For instance, say, “I am not so good at football” rather than “I am hopeless at sport.”
• Blame is rationalized rather than personalized. Say, “I got a C on my test because I didn’t study” instead of “I got a C on my test because I’m stupid.”
• Avoid excessive negative exaggerations when things don’t go as planned. Instead of saying, “You are hopeless,” say, “You need to practice a bit more.”
• Expose your children to stories and videos that have a theme of optimism, such as The Lion King, The Tortoise and the Hare, The Little Red Engine, The Karate Kid, and Little Giants.
• Draw your child’s attention to media and/or public figures that have overcome hardships or have persisted and achieved their dreams.
• Provide encouragement for trying or having a go, so they start to believe they are capable of success.
• Encourage children to use positive self-talk, adopting an “I can do it” or “I’ll give it my best shot” attitude.
• Correct children when they use pessimistic language and help them think about things in a more rational way. For example, stating “You have passed all your other math exams, and you just need some extra help on this topic” could challenge “I am hopeless.”
• Build the basic foundations of optimism by encouraging kids to have a go, come to terms with both success and failure, plan for the best outcome, problem solve, and have the belief and confidence to try again (Reference: Seligman M. (1990) “Learned Optimism”).

Emotional Intelligence recognizes ‘hope’ as the ability to maintain an optimistic outlook in the face of disappointment and difficulties. Hope Therapy incorporates positive self-talk, thinking about the future in a more positive way, and connections with a supportive network instead of dwelling on the unpleasant past.

For it is enduring the winter chill that sparks the development of buds on a cherry tree and enables them to bloom upon the arrival of spring.